You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
