If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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