Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Randomize
