those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Randomize
