It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
