Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
