If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
