I don't usually arrange sex via text message
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
