I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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