Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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