Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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