Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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