So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
my being single is dangerous.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
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