Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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