the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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