you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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