yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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