i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
