Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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