We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
