Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
