This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
