Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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