I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I could fuck to npr.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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