At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
