Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
