she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
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