You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
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