i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
