Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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