I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
