Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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