Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
