It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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