It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
