i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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