my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
