Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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