That's intense
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
