Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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