we have officially lost it.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
