Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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