Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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