what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
