I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
