sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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