Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Im part way to drunk.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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