He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
