that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
My vagina just recognized that song.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
