Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
