im drinking this country out of the recession.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Randomize
