You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Just invented taco cereal.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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